i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
