so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
