Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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