You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
