I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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