The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
