Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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