apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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