I just made out with a guy for $7.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
