I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
