i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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