just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
