Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
