i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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