if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
why do cheetos always look like penises
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize