this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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