my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
