Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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