i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
