you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
