Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
