I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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