She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
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