He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
