my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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