the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
