remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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