garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
