She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
