I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Found your dick twin last night
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
