Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
