May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
