Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
