worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
