Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
