i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize