He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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