:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
