Christians are straight up FREAKS
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Randomize
