they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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