i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
