I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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