Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
