He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
