STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
