Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
