sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
