WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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