i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Randomize
