Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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