dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
whose parrot is this?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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