And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
