hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
