Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
