I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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