I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
