member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
This toilet bowl is my home.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
