she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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