My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
